A complete account of self evolution - Liverpudlian singer and producer Pixey shares her perspective of life in music
By Tom Adams April 2023
"I want the happiness of the old stuff with the anthemic I have something to fucking say style of the new"
It's safe to say Lizzie Hillesdon hasn't had the steadiest introduction into the music industry. The 28-year-old, better known as Pixey, had to overcome a life threatening illness during her time at university before even considering a career in music. Thankfully she eventually did and she's currently celebrating the vinyl launch of debut LP Dreams, Pains & Paper Planes released via Chess Club Records. I travelled across the Mersey line into the city of Liverpool to meet the talented singer, songwriter and producer to learn all about her unorthodox journey into the chaotic music industry.
If you think you know Pixey at all, I'd suggest you should probably think again. When building up to the interview just a few days earlier, I had read a few things online that suggested music wasn't originally a primary focus of hers, but the reality of the situation was far more complicated than that.
"I think I just never felt I was any good with music, and I suffered from crippling stage fright too so it was never something I saw as being viable. I had no idea how to get into the industry, never mind being the shyest person ever, so I basically fell into it all by accident", she admitted. "In 2016 whilst studying English, History combined with Philosophy at university, I was already having a really hard time but during my second year I got really ill with a viral infection. It made me have this whole realisation that life was incredibly fragile and everyone has only one chance and I thought it was too late to start in music at that point but that’s an illusion! You see artists that have been playing since they were like fourteen and therefore have a head start so it feels intimidating but you’re never too old. When I was getting better I just thought it’s now or never really so I started to produce which gave me the way into the industry which was great as I never even thought producing was an option."
Not many musicians can claim overcoming a life-threatening illness would go on to catalyse their music career but I quickly began to realise Lizzie isn't like most musicians, nor does she want to be.
"When I became better, I was always sick of musicians taking themselves too seriously and that’s something I actually think I lost in the past year and have started to take myself too seriously. I started out thinking this wouldn’t really go anywhere but when it did it was great but when it’s not it’s a humbling experience so I had to ask myself what I was doing it for and the reasons I went into music, and to stop being so serious with it. It was this whole existential crisis I had last year being really self-critical and comparing myself to artists that are younger than me but have already done way more than I had. I had to stop and think that’s not why you went into it. Ultimately, I wanted something that felt good to play after such a few tough years personally so when I started playing live I really felt good with everyone dancing and having a good time!
It was a complete fake it till you make it mentality! And when I got signed, I had never actually played the guitar on stage before so you can imagine how nerve wracking that was! Because I couldn’t play the guitar, I started looping it because I was shit and I genuinely used a free pack of samples on Ableton thinking wow why is no one using these lo-fi indie guitar beats!? I hadn’t really listened to that style of music before either so from there I started listening to artists like De La Soul and Beck thinking there’s this whole genre of music that exists and I had no idea this whole time! I think you just end up taking pieces from each artist and it begins to form your identity as your own artist, but I hadn’t seen many women making that kind of music. Björk was maybe the closest with a more big beat kinda sound but it’s not like her solid sound if that makes sense? That’s mainly how I got into it by looping things because I couldn’t play them - which was probably a blessing in disguise!"
It's incredibly refreshing to see how genuine she is. Having been just minutes since she was talking openly about her illness and vulnerabilities of the past few years, she still finds the space to crack jokes mocking herself in being once too inexperienced of playing the guitar or producing - even if I do think she's being slightly harsh on herself.
We detour slightly as the sun brightly shines over the small café area we're sitting at onto the cobbled Liverpool side street, allowing me the chance to ask her what inspires her most about Liverpool, in addition to how she ended up with her artist name of Pixey.
"I love this city so much!", she says. "I actually lived in Parbold when I was young but always went to school in Liverpool, then I fully moved here when I was a teenager. At that time I was obsessed with Ed Sheeran and thought of myself as this acoustic guitar player but now I won’t touch it! I just always resonated with Liverpool the most, like growing up at school always singing The Beatles then when I got older, after The Beatles had been hammered into my consciousness, I started to love George Harrison and that really resonated with me, especially the solo album All Things Must Pass. It’s just so summery and uplifting and I immediately wanted to make music like that, just with the added inclusion of some big beat! It was so inspiring to know artists you’ve grown up admiring have been around the same streets or have lived around the corner or something, there’s just something really inspiring about it all here."
In terms of the artist name, I remember speaking to my mum about it because at first I was just gonna be called Lizzie but she wasn’t a big fan of me using my real name - which is obviously all over the internet now of course!" she laughs. "So I asked her what I should be known as. She always said I was quite small and like her little pixie and I thought that’s a cool name… also kinda to avoid being sued and that worked out pretty well because at one point I thought I was going to have to change my name. Blonde was another I thought about but Pixey worked the best!"
Just as things began to gain traction as she kickstarts her music career after cementing an artist name and releasing her first few tracks, the global pandemic hits and throws the whole music industry into uncertainty. But for Lizzie, it gave her the time to focus on herself and her music before the cards seemed to finally fall in the right place at the right time.
"Despite being quite scared of the pandemic, because of my previous illness, it weirdly didn’t worry me too much for some reason. I think because my years before had just been so challenging personally, then finally coming out the other side with a manager and having met James Dring, who produced the Free to Live in Colour EP, I'd been given a chance in music again and I remember thinking I’ve come so far and now this happens… I couldn’t believe it! I had a Zoom call with Chess Club Records quite early into the pandemic and it was funny because the connection was horrendous and I was stressing so much, then a couple weeks go by and I’ve heard nothing. Then finally when I was out in Formby one day, I got a text saying they wanted to sign me! It was surreal! I remember sitting down and just sobbing thinking I’d tried so hard having come out of being signed before and it hadn’t worked out and I’d also just quit my job as a waitress so I was so ready to be able to start again."
The new 'normal' quickly becomes even more surreal for Pixey as she is announced as the official support for fellow labelmate Alfie Templeman on his official album tour of the UK across eighteen dates, including the iconic London Shepherd's Bush. Despite assuming that particular gig may be the most memorable part of the tour, for Lizzie, it was realising both her and Alfie may not have the strongest stomachs when it came to the pre-gig nerves.
"I remember the first time the van pulled up outside the venue on the very first night and the whole journey there I was silent - me and Alfie were both bricking it which made for an interesting dressing room! Seeing the main act be as nervous for it as I was was a big comfort (sorry Alfie) so he really helped me with dealing with that. I was always terrified of touring, especially at that time as I had never done more than two shows back-to-back but it was great! The first few shows were probably a bit ropey but after that I knew what to expect from the audience which helped build up my confidence a lot. Alfie and his band are just the nicest to be on tour with too and even his fans were lovely like it was just the perfect first tour for me."
A few months then pass and the arrival of her debut LP named Dreams, Pains & Paper Planes is set for official release during September 2022. Fans get their first taste of the new era with single 'Come Around (Sunny Day)' - a song that fittingly encapsulates Lizzie's charismatic personality with a beat almost reminiscent of a hip-hop track. It felt summery and uplifting to listen to, like she had once aimed for, and the mini-album would go on to become the first project of hers she'd had a major producing role with too.
"It felt like a bit of a mixtape because I just wanted to solidify the whole big beat thing to make sure each track had something big one way or another. I had so much fun making it with the freedom I had - which is quite rare once you’re actually with a label. Now I look back I’m happy with how it turned out and I feel like now I'm in such a different place to when I wrote it so it’s a big statement for me as a female producer to be given that chance to solidify your identity and be a little bit different because I really do love the songs on it.
I’ve heard so many different things from people with different labels that it really varies but Chess Club have always been so open to all my ideas", she added. "Having the chance to be a female producer and actively produce without a lot of involvement from anyone else is a big deal. Especially as a woman, I think people often don’t trust you as much and I’m really not sure why that is. Obviously as I grow as an artist and producer, I understand my own past mistakes, I mean my first EP Colours… the production on that is outrageous! I'm not sure how I got away with that one! With Free to Live in Colour I worked with James Dring, then had another co-producer and I learnt a lot from him too so by the time of Dreams, Pains & Paper Planes I worked with Richard Turvey and he was just like a mentor who pushed me even further. It can be really difficult to make yourself clear in this industry so solidifying a clear identity is incredibly important."
Whilst many of the new songs on Dreams, Pains & Paper Planes possess the wholesome feel-good vibe of the rest of Pixey's discography, some explore a more sensitive side to her music with tracks such as 'Kids!' or 'So, Just Smile' sounding characteristically euphoric, yet are juxtaposed by deeper themes of mental health and personal vulnerability.
"When I said earlier that I was having an existential crisis, I was waking up each day thinking what is the point which is strange because my whole life after my illness was full of gratitude that I’m even still alive! My life shifted during that time and I was feeling frustrated with myself so when it came to writing ‘Kids!’, I came up with the chorus which made me feel so nihilistic. It was literally over there!", she points towards the kerb as the road bends round the corner. "Near those suitcases right there was where I wanted to channel everything into a song and ‘Kids!’ is easily my favourite because it hits such a special place in my heart. I was going through a what is the fucking point feeling shit about everything so I needed a powerful song with a big beat. The whole LP encapsulated all the anxieties I was feeling at the time - it’s cynical but it was a huge release for me! Ideally I want the happiness of the older stuff with the anthemic I have something to fucking say style of the new stuff."
In addition to the EP, Pixey hit another major landmark by earning the official theme song for BT Sport's coverage of the English Premier League 2022/23 season. Joining forces with Manchester-born electronic producers Mint Royale, the trio covered 'One To Another' by The Charlatans before successfully being selected as the programme's official theme song.
"I remember getting an email saying the publishing company wanted a cover of either ‘Praise You’ by Fatboy Slim, ‘One To Another’ by The Charlatans or there was one more but I can't remember. I went away and did my own version of ‘One To Another’ but they were a little unsure at first so I assumed I hadn’t got it and moved on, but then I later get another email saying Mint Royale had done their version but BT wanted a female vocal on it so I used the vocal from my version and they loved it!
Funnily enough I actually missed it when it first got televised on BT. We were out watching a game at a pub quietly waiting for the outro music to kick in at the end and I’m so excited at this point, then the lady at the pub walks over and says to everyone if they don’t mind her turning it off now the game has finished and she ends up muting it so long story short I ended up going home and watching it. As a Liverpool fan, I always wanted a footy tune so it was pretty mind blowing! It’s something I always like impressing people with too like taxi drivers when they ask what I do I’ll say I’m a musician and so they’ll joke whether they’ve heard of me, then when I ask them if they watch footy they’ll be like fucking hell no way once I tell them!"
Even now Lizzie still seems to be taken aback by the amazing landmarks she's already achieved in the four years she's been releasing music. However for her, it's still more about how her music makes her and her fans feel above anything else. I wanted to tell her about the first time I listened to Dreams, Pains & Paper Planes whilst walking by a canal in Manchester at night to which it was notable how much that meant to her.
By the time of writing this, Hillesdon will have begun her mini acoustic tour celebrating the vinyl release of the LP, which allows her the chance to play some stripped down versions of songs off the record in a smaller venue context before fans in attendance get the chance to meet her afterwards.
"I am really nervous but it’s so nice people will be there simply to celebrate my music and I'm so so grateful for that. A lot of thought has gone into the vinyl too, we wanted it to look retro and come with a poster and paper plane, although we are currently lacking the paper plane part so it’s just Dreams & Pains for now which is probably pretty accurate", she laughs. "But I’m so excited for it, it’s my biggest vinyl yet! Honestly, it still doesn’t feel real to me so it’s gonna be really cool to do something just for my music and meet fans. I’ve really put my heart into it."
In terms of what might be next for Pixey, Lizzie didn't want to reveal too much right now. She did what's to come is the most excited she's been for her music because the sound is going to evolve again and that is might surprise people, "hopefully for the best". But whatever direction she does go in next, evolving her music and production in turn, I don't think anyone will be surprised at just how inspiring she is - even if she herself doesn't quite believe it yet.
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